I love the fearlessness of children. I notice how they live in their own world and anything outside of that doesn't matter. You'll catch them in the corner creating a game that only they understand filled with imaginary playmates that are suitable for the situation they have curated. They're very much about their vision and how they see the world and you can't take that from them...well, you can...and when you take it before they're ready, it's usually followed by a holler and a river full of tears.
I was like that as a child and in many ways I still am. I curate my life in a way that is fitting for me. I create a healthy environment for myself that I can operate in and be the best me possible. It was something that I struggled with before...something that took time to grasp and put in motion. I'm still curating this multi-leveled place that I call my life...and everyday I'm making adjustments to make it better. It's a complexed simplicity that is layered and the access to all levels of me isn't given to everyone. That's the challenging part for me...passing out access level codes...who do I allow to see certain parts of me...
After arriving at a place where I feel content with who I am and what I need in order to be my best, I was questioned by a close friend of mine about the way I operate now and how I would be able to continue in this manner when I'm with someone. Will I always be this way? Would I be willing to change to accommodate the needs of a woman? When would I feel okay with changing for someone else?
Will I always be this way?
Would I change to accommodate the needs of a woman?
When would I feel okay with changing for someone else?
I'll never feel okay with changing what I need to be the best me for someone else. I have hopes that me at my best is what draws that person to me.
We have be careful...Often I see people changing with hopes of fitting into someone else's world at the casualty of who they are and what they need individually or people feeling that there is something wrong with the life they have curated for themselves outside of being in a relationship. You don't have to change who you are and what you need individually to be with someone.
I am definitely willing to stretch for the right person. The difference is the right person isn't everyone. Everyone isn't going to reach the stretching access level. Stretching for someone comes after they take the time recognize who you are and what you need to be your best. They won't take it personal because they've taken the time to reach a level of truly understanding who you are and won't put what they want ahead of that. You'll stretch for them because you see and recognize that they recognize you. I personally think it's a form of someone showing respect for you. In addition, you would hope that they would stretch for you because you are also aware that what they need outside of you is something that they established before you were present.
Changing for someone will always lead to your counterpart being given what they need and you feeling empty.
Stretching for someone fulfills both parties because the act of stretching for someone and receiving someone stretching for you is a give-give situation. I'm stretching for you because you took the time to get to know me and what I need and it shows...I really appreciate that and I'll stretch for you because of that. It's an appreciation for recognizing and respecting who each other are.
It's important to get to know yourself and what you need as an individual to be the best you for the world before you attempt to truly get to know someone else. The right person will respect who you are through there actions and that will be a sign that they are worth stretching for.