I love her...
I love her because there's never been a hidden agenda, drama, mind reading, or pretending. There's been no attempts to impress me with a false representation of who she is because she knows that's pointless...yet she always seems to impress me by simply being herself and continuously striving and growing to be a better woman everyday. Genuine, kind, caring, and often concerned about others is how I would describe her inner workings. There's this quiet confidence that she possesses that can't be taken away from her. She has nothing to prove to anyone and knows she has nothing but time to dispel the ongoing war inside her mind of whether she's good enough to carry out the purpose she's been ordained to complete. She continuously finds freedom in herself daily by seeking out what she needs to thrive and has no shame in dwelling in these places...and when she feels chained down she'll seek me out to gain some perspective. She's not afraid to be weak in front of me because she sees me as an extension of her own being an existence...someone to help her back on the right path when she feels lost in this world. She refuses to settle for the ugliness that dwells in her being...she's a flaw fighter and will admit what she needs to improve on and actively seeks to improve it over time. She's a listener...the words she receives from me lay dormant in her heart...resurfacing in a time of need.
She is the safe haven for my secrets and insecurities...my anger and vulnerability...she knows all the things about me that I'm terrified about people knowing. The things I'm ashamed of about myself she holds in her heart and chooses to never use them against me. Overtime she's seen me at my best and my worst and still accepts and loves me for who I am. She's a fan of mine and truly wants nothing but God's best for me and it shows. She doesn't allow me to stay in my worse state by being honest with me about my flaws and pushing me to grow in areas where I'm weak. I can dive deeper into who I am with her because she chooses to protect me emotionally and guide me in ways that only a woman can.
My heart is safe with her...
I trust her with all of me...
And she does the same...
This place where all of our emotions live is in our "Sanctuary of Friendship." The sanctuary's foundation is based on the steady flow of consistency and follow through that we've created amongst each other over time. Everything that fills the sanctuary is what creates this incredible love we have for each other.
Interesting enough...I learned so much about loving a woman through loving her and our relationship is not romantic at all!
It is simply a guide to how I should lay the foundation to my romantic dealings...
Romance should be nothing but the cherry on top to this everlasting search to grow together as friends...but often we do the exact opposite and try to grow in romance without friendship and it doesn't last. The romantic based relationship we often engage in consist of unknown expectations and representatives that aren't our true selves that create unnecessary drama. People go above and beyond to give us this preview of the best them and often try to change you to fit into their agenda for what a relationship looks like to them. After the newness of love goes away you look up and ask yourself how did I "fall in love" with a stranger?
True and raw love lives in friendship...It lives in the sanctuary you and someone else choose to create over time...and it's possible if we all just slow down. You've done it before...just think about how patient, forgiving, gentle, caring, and kind you are with your friends. It's a shame we aren't the same way with our lovers...but the reason we aren't is because most of your past lovers were never your friend. It's not about being friends with everyone you date because some people simply won't make it to the sanctuary...but the right one will be completely okay with sifting through your character to see if it compliments what they have to offer to the world. They'll be fully aware that they've been looking for you even if they weren't aware of it until they found you. They'll step into the Sanctuary of Friendship and create a foundation so solid that when romance arrives with all of it's complications...it won't be able to break the concrete foundation that was built in the sanctuary.
Sincerely,
Aaron "Ab" Abernathy