… I woke up from “The Container” letter I wrote in The SPIRIT… and Yahweh was cruising as the rain hit the windshield. He asked me if I would stick to what I just wrote in THE SPIRIT OF GOD? I told Him, all of this is new to me… will you have patience with me if I falter? He said "I AM the definition of patience and kindness. Aaron, you honor people who aren’t over me! Yet, I AM still the definition of patience and kindness and yes I will be with you if you falter."
He turned to me and said "write your heart out for men right now. My SPIRIT will guide your words. There’s a lesson in the amount of grace you’ve had for the women you’ve loved as you understand Romans 3:23 quickly. Your grace and forgiveness hasn’t allowed you to fall for the bait of satan as LOVE COVERS A MULTITUDE OF SINS. Yet, when they found that Romans 3:23 lives in you as well…well, they have ghosted and fled from thee. Stare at it wholeheartedly! They aren’t who you thought they were and there’s zero grace for you. Share your heart as many will relate…"
And I closed my eyes and heard…
THE STIFLING OF BOYS TO MEN…
“There’s nothing wrong with crying… as long as you understand and can express what you’re crying about.”
- Mom
My mother is a Queen! It was at the tender age of eight that she helped me decipher that tears were an indicator of emotions I had to learn to express verbally. I remember being at the Karamu House in Cleveland, Ohio…I honestly don’t recall what took place that cause me to cry, yet I can remember that her care in the moment is something that stays with me. There I stood, trying to fight back the tears (that eventually got the best of me) because I was told by my father (like most fathers) that “I needed to stop all that crying” on several occasions.
I remember her gently asking me to explain what happened? How did what happen make me feel? She gingerly walked me down a hallway of different emotional options until we landed on the one I saw fit to explain the feeling I was feeling. I was disappointed. That’s all I can remember. My feelings were hurt due to disappointment and my tears and emotional build up was an indicator of such. This moment was the introduction to having an understanding on why I emoted and the different feelings that come with that human condition.
She didn’t stifle it! She didn’t say “you’re too old for all this crying!” She didn’t say “you’re a big boy and big boys don’t cry!” She didn’t say any of the nonsense that all of us have heard hurled at young boys, adolescent young males, young adults, and men! She simply took the time to help me understand that there’s nothing wrong with crying and it’s my responsibility to identify the why behind the tears/emotion that I feel.
There is a systemic party that we’ve all been attending for generations that hinders males from becoming the men that all societies need. Young boys need the ability to have the floor to express their hearts and be heard just like young girls have the privilege to do so from a societal stand point. It is literally a privilege to be able to have your heart heard at a young age in order to cultivate your emotional intelligence.
When a young boys emotions are stifled, it is very hard to recover them in manhood. Males are exactly what they are taught! It is the stifling of emotions as well as the coddling of boys, from childhood to many marriages, that stop males from becoming men. I believe the saddest part for many males is it takes a huge loss (a marriage, a lover, a wife and kids) to unlock emotions that were caged at a young age. Emotions that could save them from these heartbreaking circumstances. Males are constantly accosted for their lack of emotional intelligence… and I challenge all of us to expand our thought on why that is, instead of your expectation of what you think they should be or blaming them for not having the prerequisite they’ve been robbed of in childhood.
Lastly, for the men who do possess the ability to eloquently express their emotions, it would truly bless us to have women who listen to support our emotions instead of listening to respond or ridicule because your emotional intelligence is lacking.
I hope you hear my heart on this matter as I come to you in love, and not to condemn.